eWomenNetwork event reflects on loving yourself and your business

During Valentine’s week, when it seems the world is focused on tempting us with mouth-watering chocolates and lavish greeting cards, the February 15, 2017, eWomenNetwork Reno/Carson/Tahoe Chapter dinner event took a more substantive look at love and its role in business success. Presenter Gary D. Salyer, Ph.D., author of the forthcoming book, Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Attract Your Soul Mate, told the entrepreneurial group that secure love is the key to tapping into our innate business brilliance and the foundation of both personal relationships and business success.

How many of us have seen people in our lives — and perhaps even witnessed ourselves — sabotage personal or business success through actions that seem designed to drive others away? Salyer maintains that many self-defeating behaviors are the result of our earliest experiences.

In our first three years of life, he said, we form the six rights or “templates” for all of our experiences:
• The feeling of the right to exist, allowing us to be present for our clients and business
• The feeling of the right to our needs, validating our needs and allowing us to charge what we are worth
• The feeling of the right to separate and belong, giving a sense of safety and guiding us to the right community and support staff
• The feeling of the right to create our experience, making our flaws and mistakes OK and allowing us to authentically market ourselves
• The feeling of the right to be assertive, allowing us to speak honestly and choose our own dreams and desires
• The feeling of the right to love and be loved, leading to good choices in personal and business relationships and acceptance of having our own fans

Most people believe it’s possible to change, but aren’t sure how. Salyer suggested that we start by telling ourselves that we have a full right to have our needs met. He recommends finding a mentor and a supportive community, as we are designed to learn best in relationships. “Love and business are not separate ‘programs’” in the brain; love is the operating system,” he said. “When you choose a better love style, you upgrade your inner templates for success.”